First dates come in many shapes and sizes. They can be non-starters, or they can spark the connection between two people, paving the way for what might be an unbreakable bond. From awkward dates to graceful ones, dates can help two people learn and get to know one another.
First dates might be planned out down to the minute, or, as in University Academy counselor Mr. George Jefferson’s experience, they might end up being “unplanned and unscripted.” In the end, they can feel perfect or, sometimes, disastrous.
When it comes to connections between two people, the Upper School staff have plenty of stories to share about memorable first dates.
- On March 1, 1985, in Lindsborg, Kansas, we met at Ol Stuga, which is a bar. Two weeks later we were engaged. -Mr. Lujano
- One time, I went with a “friend” to wash our cars together. Now that we have been married for 25 years, we tell people it was our “first date.” -Ms. Albritton
- My first date with my wife was at a coffee shop in Columbia, Missouri. We had a great coffee date—almost four hours of coffee. Then, as we were leaving, I realized I had forgotten where I had parked. She laughed and grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s go on an adventure.” We have been together since that day. -Mr. Shabason
- My first date with my husband was when I was only 17. For our first date, we went through the McDonald’s drive thru and then to feed the fish at the marina. After we fed the fish, he took me to meet his parents. I was nervous, but it all worked out. We have been married for nine years. -Ms. Matchael
- I first met my husband on a beach in Mexico. On our first date, I grilled Jeremy with very intense questions about his type, if he’d ever been in a serious relationship, and many other things about marriage, parenting, family and more. I remember his jaw dropping to the floor. I was not trying to scare him, but I was definitely communicating that I was ready for something serious. Fast forward 10 years, and we are happily married with two kids. -Ms. Kenyon
- On another first date, my date picked a restaurant that he had never been to, and it was too expensive. No shade at all, but we were college students living on budgets. I ordered the cheapest meal on the menu (a burger, which I love), and I could see his relief when I didn’t order the $80 steak. It was memorable because I was validated that paying attention to nonverbal cues and empathy can go a long way! -Ms. Kenyon
- My first date was when I was turning 13. My uncle asked me if I had a girlfriend and if I wanted to take her to the movies to celebrate my birthday. I went with this girl named India, and we ended up seeing “Lottery Ticket.” When I got to her place to pick her up, you would have thought it was a prom send-off with the amount of people who were there. Her big sister tried to press me! My uncle drove us, and when he dropped me back off at home after the movie, my dad was blowing my phone up. Long story short, I ended up being on punishment because I didn’t tell my dad. -Dr. Martin
- My most memorable first date (for the right reasons) was at a restaurant in Crossroads. What stood out the most was that we had similar interests and were both very social people who enjoyed alone time. Throughout the evening, we joked, talked about what we were each looking for, and even both embarrassed ourselves. My favorite portion was unplanned and unscripted. We drove around the city looking for a publication that she forgot was featuring her that day. It was cool to see her outside of her public or professional persona. -Mr. Jefferson
- My most memorable bad date was at a restaurant and board game spot. I was told I was acting like a therapist, and from my perspective, she didn’t know how to play scrabble correctly and was a bad sport. I now know I can’t be with anyone who doesn’t know you can add onto words on the board in Scrabble. -Mr. Jefferson
No matter how the first date goes, ultimately, a healthy relationship is the end goal. Things to consider for a healthy relationship might include quality time or a shared hobby. UA junior Givanni Atkins said it’s important to have good communication and let each person feel “free to do whatever they want without trying to make them follow your rules.”
Having a genuine connection and spark on a first date might be the first step to a healthy relationship.
